Hi everybody,
Just finished a series of meetings on relationships and marriage. Have you noticed that with time we tend to stop paying attention to our spouse and in some instances we even appear to be kinder to our friends than we are to each other. The point is that sometimes because we love each other, we tend to take the other person for granted and forget to nourish the very relationships we already have.
I don’t know if you remember when you were in the dating stage of your relationship how much attention you used to give to your husband or your wife before you got married? Do you remember you bought flowers, you wrote e-mails, you made phone calls, you talked for hours. In short you spent a lot of quality time together. In many ways during dating and engagement you said, “You have my undivided attention”. In fact, you probably thought about them all the time when you weren’t with them. Fast forward a couple of years and things seem to change.
I have noticed that with time our attention gets shifted and we get complacent. We begin to take things for granted. Over time we tend to pay less attention to our spouse (our relationship) rather than more attention. All of a sudden our relationship with our husband/wife is no longer the focal attention of our lives. When that happens the marriage relationship begins to deteriorate. In other words I have to constantly remind myself to keep paying attention and investing in the relationship. In short, I show I care by staying aware.
The Bible actually offers some valuable principles with regard to nourishing our relationships that we would be wise to heed (See Rom. 15:5; 1 John 3:18). The point is true lovers constantly find ways to show they appreciate each other and to affirm the relationship they have. True lovers enjoy each other and find ways to do things together. They also respect each other. They may disagree (we all do from time to time), but they allow for differences of opinion. When we really love another person we keep showing affection and affirming each other. By the way if you have not noticed we all need to be affirmed, we all need to be adored. Just think about it: One reason that you fell in love with your partner is they affirmed you.
So in closing, this the 14th of February, just remember true lovers care by being sensitive to each other's hopes, fears, aspirations, dreams, and plans. John writes, “Beloved, let us love one another.” Some translations read “dear friends”. I believe he is saying that as friends and life partners we need to continually find new ways to love, respect and affirm each other . We need to learn to respect, love, and cherish each other, not only for today but throughout our lives.
Challenge: The test of real love isn’t what you say about how you love each other. It’s how you act.
Happy Valentine’s day
Berny