Being human and having a selfish nature I have found myself on occasion getting into an argument with my wife resulting in that I would not communicate with her. I usually feel she had misunderstood what I was trying to say or accused me unjustly, and I thought the safest thing for me to do was to not speak to her for the rest of the day.
It’s a game I believe many couples play. Subconsciously we think the silent treatment will punish those who have treated us unfairly, or it may cause them to at least react in our favor by apologizing or some other extreme way and in so doing justify the fact that that they were wrong all along.
However, I have learned that by choosing to be quite and ignore her that I was in fact communicating by my silence. My actions were saying something to my wife, something like, “I don’t care about your feelings. My feelings are more important than yours. And furthermore, you can’t treat me that way without paying for it.”
Now in all honesty I didn’t consciously set out to communicate that message. I just felt hurt and wanted her to understand how I felt. For those of you wondering, I really love my wife and want to be close to her. But that’s not the message that came through to her. Our actions and the way we treat each other often speak louder than words.
This principle is seen in Jesus’ life. In Matthew 9:1-8, a paralytic was brought to Him. Jesus’ response? “Your sins are forgiven.” When the religious leaders objected, He raised the question which certainly annoyed the religious leaders: “Which is easier, to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven you,’ or to say, ‘Arise and walk’?” (v.5).
The answer is obvious. To say He had forgiven the man’s sins was simple, because it couldn’t be proven or disproven. But, to say “Arise and walk” was different. It could be instantly verified. So, to prove His authority to forgive sins, Jesus simply said to the paralytic, “Arise, take up your bed, and go to your house” (v.6). And he did!
One might say that Jesus’ actions supported His words, and so should ours. John wrote, “My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth” (1 John 3:18).
I believe what we say is significant to a watching world only if it’s consistent with what we do. As we tell people about Christ’s love and the benefits of following Him, those words will communicate powerfully only if they are also accompanied by acts of love and kindness.
Actions do speak louder and to be honest with you I’d rather see a Christian living Christ in their daily lives than listen to a sermon or lecture about how wonderful God is. We need to walk the talk. Our works and words should say the same thing.
In other words, we can tell our non-Christian friends that Jesus makes a difference in our lives, but they will pay more attention to our actions. So let me ask you: Do we talk to the shop assistant with any more kindness than the unbeliever does? Are we any more inclined to help a stranger in trouble? Do we handle stress and inconveniences with more calmness? Do we treat our families with more unselfish consideration? The world is watching.
The Bible makes it clear that the only way we can live credible lives is by daily surrendering our lives to Christ – filling our thoughts with Him and His Word and letting Jesus control us completely and live through us. Only then will non-believers begin to believe our words. Only then will our works and words say the same thing.